It’s Monday.

I still have to be at work. I still have to deal with … well everything I had to before.

This blogathon may have made a difference. But life still goes on, pretty much as it did before.

I did get some sleep, but I’m still a bit out of it.

I find my self feeling bogged down.
I have so many projects I’m working on.
Not at work, but my projects.

My home has some Home Improvement needs.

I’m in the process of setting up a few Web Sites.
Two of them are for me.
One of them is for a Business.
I’m not really qualified to call my self a Web Designer, and I’m certainly not a DBA, but that is what I seem to be getting my self into.
I won’t get paid for any of it. I’m looking at like this… If I can get this up and running with no major incidents, I’ll have the clout (and the code snippets) to sell a similar Web App to some one else.

My Blog To Do list keeps growing.

I’ve set up a Linux box (again.) Already I’m plucked with it. For some reason the cursor/mouse never feels like its moving correctly for me in Linux. It makes me nuts.

I want to record a few more Techno things for the Show.

In addition to this blog I have 3 writing projects that I am not working on.

I have a few thousand photographs that need to cleaned up and organized ans something done with them.

You know plus life.
I feel like I don’t have enough time for any of it.

So it’s all done.
It wasn’t as bad as I expected.

Some things plucked, but that is to be expected with this kind of nonsense.

I think I almost just dozed off.

Wouldn’t that be dumb…. to doze of at 20 till nine.

I know that most of the people that came by here will never come back.
Good. We don’t want you anyway.

But the few of you who have demonstrated a more refined taste and will be back…
You rock. But you knew that .

We raised $534.01!

We rock!

Have a good Sunday Bloggers!

I don’t think much of people.
I assume the worst.

This is your last chance to prove me wrong about you.

Sponsor me.

It is a safe bet that I finish.
It is for a good charity.

Give me a reason to say something nice about you.
I double dog dare you.

You can back down from a double dog dare.

I signed up for the blogathon for 2 reasons.

One was a good reason.
One was a petty reason.

I signed up to raise money for a good charity.
That was a good reason.
I have been successful in that regard, I think.

I also signed up because it seemed like last year I read so many blogathon blogs that were reduced to one line (or near one line) posts, that where all, this is so hard. That made such drama about doing what it was they promised to do.

It irked me.

I said to my self, I can do this and give complete posts. I can maintain some dignity at least until it gets late.
I can do better, I told myself.
That is a petty reason.

But I think I did pretty good on that front.
I didn’t anticipate the Radio thing… but even so, it worked out.

My point?

Yeah right.
There’s no point.

What I will not be doing as soon as this is over is go to sleep.

I’m tired enough.
But my sleep schedule is messed up enough as it is. It can’t take that.

If I were to go sleep at 930 or 10, I would wake up at like 7 in the evening and then I would be up till almost time to get up.

No. I need to stay up.
I may take a little nap or something.
I certainly may not be doing much.

But I need to keep myself mostly awake till 9 or 10 tonight then sleep through.
That’s my plan, any how.

Anyone have any idea how many blogathoners did not make it this far?
Just being nosey.

at least monty is still talking dirty to me.

Shit.

I still haven’t got that coffee.

Excuse me.

It was an egg sandwich.
And it was good.

And I’m drinking a soda.
A Diet Berries & Cream Dr. Pepper, to be precise.

Why?
I don’t know. She brought it to me.
I drink it.

Typing has never been my strong point, but this is ridiculous.

My wife is laughing at me right now.

Apparently me typing is humorous or something.
I’m afraid it is ‘or something.’

Hey all you blogathonners that are coming through here…

I have a question for you.
Was it worth it?
Will you do it again?
What will you do differently?

Hmm. That was more than one question.

Now about that coffee…

I woke her up.
Nicely.

I think I hear noises in the kitchen.
I’m hopeful that this will result in an egg sandwich.
And coffee.

I need coffee, but not before I get something solid in my stomach.

I’m not going to get in to things that I don’t know the details of…
but I can safely say, once again, people suck.

Given a chance to be small, narrow minded and short sighted, they will.
Stupid people.

Wow. This is much easier when I’m not trying to do a Radio Show.

Those of you who listened…
You rock!

The rest of you…
well do I need to spell it out?

I’ll keep you posted about breakfast. I know that you are on the edge of your seat about this.

And that makes this the home stretch.
Let me make some coffee. and regroup from my DJing thing.

I put a lot of myself in to that.
It wears me out. I need to re-focus. Again.

Do you think I can convince my wife took me breakfast?

Yeah. Me either.

But I can dream.

But I can’t sleep.
(I bet that’s not as funny if you haven’t been up all night.)

I have a lot of reading to catch up on.
I’ll be back.

It’s because it isn’t very good.

Yet I keep it doing it.
I’m stubborn like that.

I guess you could say that I have the same issue with this blog.

Why not see if you can surprise me and sponsor me.
Hell, I might even say something nice about it.
You know you want to.

Don’t you?

DJing on MAngo Radio…
Posting there too.

And of course I’m still here.

Rumor has it that I’ve offended at least a few people. (on the Internet Radio)
Good.

At least I’m getting a response.

Anything is better than silence.
But you guys know that.

Anyone who blogs knows about that.
Nothing is worse (in blogging) than posting something and getting…

nothing but tumbleweeds.

Shutter has gone home to get some sleep.

Lucky bastard.

My brand of radio… check that

Internet Radio…

Any way… my style bugs some people.
Not surprising.

I have that effect on people.

I am so not doing a good job at juggling all of this.

It hasn’t gotten any better.

If you don’t know what I’m talking about… be glad.

I didn’t realize how much I wanted to do this radio thing.
I can’t wait until Shutter leaves.

It can’t happen soon enough.

I’m wired!

I’ve lost my mind.
and to make it worse…

Shutter is egging me on.

If you want listen go here.
Join the rest of the losers in the chatroom.

It’s not much of a post… but at least it is more than one sentence.

For the next three hours, I am pulling triple duty.

I’ll be blogging here.
I’ll be Blogging there.
And I’ll be on the air.

Christ, that rhymes.

Feel free to check out the show.
But if you are easily offended, don’t bother.

I’m still not sure how I let myself get roped into this…

I’ll be on the air in 30 minutes.
Like you didn’t know that already.

Here’s the skinny:

Tune in to listen here.
Go to the chatroom here.
And see me post here as well as … here.

Of course with all of this build up… you are bound to be disappointed.

Oh well… you’ll find that life is full of little disappointments.

I’m reading the Chatroom over at Mango Radio.

This is a bad sign.
I hate chatrooms.

I’m also clock watching.
Another bad sign.

But I can’t help it.
Mostly I’m waiting to go on Mango Radio.
Then I can Yell and cuss and make an ass of myself.
It’s as good a way to pass the time as anything else I can think of.

I’ll give you the details of me on Mango Radio next half hour.

In the meantime I need to get some more coffee.

Did I mention that I’ve been doing the Internet Radio DJ thing for almost a year now?
I think I did.
You would that that after a year, I’d be pretty good at it, but you’d be wrong.
I think I might be the worst DJ on the station.
Hell, I could easily be the worst DJ on Internet Radio.

Do be sure to tune in.

I apologize in advance for the whole fiasco.

I know it’s getting bad when Shutter is nagging me that it is time to start making a post.

But the truth is that I’m drawing a bit of a blank here.
It’s not that I have nothing to say (That will never happen!)

I’m just having trouble condensing those thoughts in to nice blog sized posts.

Since I seem to be unable to produce an original thought right now…

I’ll tell you what I’ve been reading.

WK has been reduced to eating cheese whiz from the can.
Utopia’s top Five List Marathon continues.
Monty is dancing around her house (naked, I hope)
My Monitor has been reduce to the dreaded meme’s

And I have been reduced to linking to other people in lieu of content.

And you…
yes you can fucking sponsor me.
I could use the pick me up.

90 minutes till my turn at Mango Radio.

Yes. Popcorn.
With lots of butter.
I’ll hate myself at the gym next week. But I always hate myself at the gym.

And I don’t settle for Microwave popcorn either.
I have a real popcorn popper. The kind that needs oil. It’s soooooo good.

I think I’m getting tired.
And running out of shit to say.

2 hours till I’m on the air at Mango Radio.
Don’t get excited.
I’m not good when I’m prepared…
and I am nothing like prepared.
I have no plan.
Except that I’m sure I’ll do some yelling.
I like to yell.

Oh. Don’t forget.
You are still allowed to sponsor me.

Go ahead.
It’s good for you.

I just spent my half hour doing nothing useful.

And now i have nothing to show for it.
Not even popcorn.

At least Shutter is being productive.

At this point, I can’t wait to be on the radio… at least that will keep busy.
I’m watching the clock like it’s Friday afternoon and I’m at work.

And I have a headache.

I know. Boring and whining. Bad combo.

I’m off for some Advil and some popcorn.

And I think I’ll taunt Shutter.
It won’t improve the quality of my blogging…
but it will entertain me.

I’m boring.

You don’t have to say anything.

I know it’s true.
I’ve seen what I’ve written.
It’s not exactly riveting.

That would explain why literially 100s of people have come to this site today and very few have commented.
Even less have sponsored me.

grrr.

But it’s isn’t today anymore.
It’s tomorrow. At least it will be when you read this.
Except that then it will be today.
And now will have become yesterday.

(See what I mean about he boring.)

I need to find something to do to entertain myself.
I still have 3 hours before I go on Mango Radio.

Maybe I’ll fight with Shutter.

The First Rule of Fight Club is…

Or maybe I’ll just make some popcorn.

This is for charity.

I have mixed emotions about charity.
I know that sounds weird, but it’s true.

I think that too many people don’t take Charity very seriously.
They shell out the money but they do it because it is fashionable or trendy.

To me it more important to help a person in real need (putting a blanket in the hands of a homeless person or to give food or clothing right to a family in need) than to write a check.

That’s crazy isn’t it?
Who cares why they do it…
as long as the money goes to help people.

I’m not so sure. When you just right a check, when you only participate to be trendy or whatever, you do not have to see what is going on.

I think if we were all confronted with these up close, we would harder to make sure that people were not left behind.

I’m not right.
I know this.
That’s not to say you shouldn’t give money.
But be aware of what you are doing.

I guess that is what I am saying.
Go learn about the charities involved.
Don’t just give money to a blogger.
Pledge money to help fix something. To make something right.

Thanks.

I don’t watch the news.
I don’t read newspapers.
I don’t read Time or Newsweek.

Oh I used to.

I used to watch MSNBC/CNN/FOXNews everyday. And read Newsweek cover to cover.

But I gave it up.
It’s not that I don’t want to be informed.

I have stopped believing that the ‘news’ is a source of information.

The News is all about viewers/readers/whatever.

If people aren’t interested in what is happening in Iraq or Afghanistan or where ever the News isn’t going to report on it.

That’s only half of it…

When I do ended reading or seeing the news, I get so mad.
People are so dumb. There is no good reason for all this killing going on. On either side.

And there is nothing I can do about it.
Nothing.

I hate it.

So I ignore it as much as I can.

That may be irresponsible, but that is where I am right now.

WebKittyn is trying to quit smoking.

Good for her. Everyone should.

I quite smoking almost 7 years ago.
I used to smoke 3 packs a day. I can’t even imagine it anymore. The thought of smoking a cigarette makes me sick.

I used to do a lot of things.
No more.

I just blog and drink coffee.

I’m so boring.
Just a boring old geek.

Shutter is here but he is studying (on a Saturday night… what a dork.)

I am focused as I’m bound to get.

I wish I could focus enough to write about soemthing besides this ‘thon thing.

Debi has sponsored me. She is my hero for this half hour.
Who wants to be next?
Sponsor me!

I’m looking at some of these other blogs and wondering if I’m trying to hard.
Of course this is the only way I know how to be, so it doesn’t really matter.

Do you think that coffee is done brewing yet…
Yes it is.

And it is strong.
Shutter likes Trucker coffee.

I know.

Just when i thought I’d get some peace and quiet.

No such luck.

I’d bitch more but he brought coffee.

Mmmm coffee.

I apologize in advance for drop off in the quality of my posts.

Shutter can be very distracting.
I may have to do something drastic.

But first I need to make coffee.

The kids are in bed.
The wife is too.

2 distractions taken care of.

I’m more than halfway there.

So far so good…

But (yes another but)

But this blogathon thing has brought over a hundred different people to this site.
Most of them will never come back after today. I’m cool with that.
But you would think that more than one of them would be able to make a pledge!

grrrr

It’s a blogathon!
It’s for charity!

You are supposed to make pledges!

Sponsor me. Dammit.

Step up to the plate.
It’s good for you.

I spend so many nights on my computer by myself.
Kind of bored.
I figure this will be no problem posting.

Suddenly, tonight I’ve got people emailing me.
IM’ing me.
Calling me.

All of these distractions.

I’m setting up a second PC.
Just to have it.
I’ve installed Linux, just to keep it interesting.

It works well…
But.
(there’s always a but)
The cursor moves like it is in molasses when you move the mouse.
It makes me nuts. A small problem but it is enough.

Bad news…

Capt Shutter may be joining me for the On air portion of this thing.

Sorry.

30 Minutes is not as long as you think it would be.
Got wrapped up talking a friend and now look at me.

I’ve got nothing.

Well, not nothing.
I still have Monty Talking dirty to me.

That’s a plus.

Oooops.
Did I say that out loud.

Maybe we’ll do better next time.

Or maybe from here on out the posting goes down hill.

Stay Tuned.

I believe I was talking about my Charity.
You know, the one that is the reason I am doing this.
I mean I wouldn’t spend a Saturday tied to my computer for no good reason.

OK I would, but I wouldn’t blog every 30 minutes.

Freedom from Hunger is my charity.
Their goal is to end chronic hunger. Not so much famine, but hunger caused by oppressive poverty and war. (and other causes I’m sure.) The way to solve these issues is to help the people rebuild their infrastructure and teach them how to maintain it.

It is a great cause. And I feel believe very strongly in it.

You can help by sponsoring me.

Cool?

Thanks.

I see coffee coming soon.
Not yet. If I rush it I’ll crash and burn.
And we can’t have that… can we?

I’ll try time it so that my coffee induced hysteria lines up with my time on Mango Radio.
Nothing like a sleep-deprived, caffeine crazed maniac screaming in to a microphone.

But it’s fine. I hate podcasating/internet radio more than I hate blogging.

Of course, by then I may have run right out of shit to say.
That would be a first.

Pizza was good.

With French Fries.

I thought for a minute I was going to break my self imposed no junk yard freeak out thing.

But now that I’m fed and full, I think I’ll be fine. Although Coffee will be in order. Soon.

Did you know that it isn’t too late to sponsor me.
You should.

I may be an asshole.
OK. I am without doubt an asshole.
But I am blogging for a good cause:

Freedom from Hunger.

Shit.
The clock says I’m done…
See ya in a bit.

Screw it! 20 Posts with little to no fluff…

PIZZA’S HERE!

mmmm pizza.

I’ll be back.

No I haven’t taken break yet…
I’m holding out for pizza!

The Ravens have reported to Training Camp.
Apparently Ray Lewis likes the team again and Billick claims he is control.

Of course.

I guess the same thing plays out all over the country this time of year.
Nearly every team is ready to make the playoffs. All the problems of last season have been addressed. The acquisitions during the off season have filled the teams needs.

Fans everywhere believe that their team can do it this time.

By week 3, we will have a better sense of reality.
But right now.
Right now, Our Team is going to go all the way!

It’s a great time of year.

Focus. Focus. Focus.

I collect comic books.

I guess I could just announce: I am a big dork!

I get a few titles; Batman and Robin, X-Men, a few others.
I love it.

When I was younger, I could never afford to keep up with it.
I’d collect for a month or two, but them I’d run out of money and stop.

Something about the way they are put together is perfect.
One picture.
A touch of dialog.
Repeat.

I don’t seem to be able to put into works the simple elegance of it.

I think that I haven’t read the most recent X-men yet.
That will be my treat.
Tomorrow I’ll just relax and read that.

That’s what I do.
I save them.
I don’t read them right away.
When I’m in the mood, I pull out an unread one and read it.

I guess comics are supposed to be kid stuff.

It must be my inner child that likes them.
Funny, I thought I killed my inner child.

My Blogathon monitor think I need a break…

What she doesn’t realize is that I’m always like this.

Like I said…
I suck.

But look, I’ve been talking to Mango Radio People.
I’ve been emailing.
And I haven’t been writing.

Once again, I suck.

So shitty useless post.

Deal with it.

Want to be amused…

Go listen to Utopia, she is angrier than me. (well almost.)

She is currently representing Mango Radio.

I feel like I should be saying nice things right now…
but I don’t have it in me right now.

Deal with that also.

Yeah… I’m a bundle of inspiration.

I’m a smart guy. I should be able to handle Time Zones. But it screws me up every time.
And of course, I’m talking to people from all over the place today.
“I’ll do this at 5.”
“It’s almost 2.”

I don’t know when you mean. I guess it’s cause I live on the Eat Coast and I’m spoiled a bit.
Everything is always in eastern time for me.

I just won a contest.

I know I said I wasn’t doing contests… I didn’t mean to. It just happened.

Over at Stale Betty’s. Go figure.

Am I losing my mind (don’t answer) or did I see a commercial for a Miami Vice Movie? (you can answer that)

I need to stretch my legs.
I think my ass is going numb.
I know, that was too much information.
Oh. Well.

I seem to have degraded into some kind of free association here.

Theme for this 24 hour thing: I suck!

I think that I’ve been in this chair too long.

I’m sure of it actually. But that’s not what I am her to talk about.

Unfortunately, I’m not sure what I am here to talk about.

Hopefully it will come to me.

There is a rant building with in me… but I don’t think it is ready to bubble over. Yet.
It is probably a bad idea to sing up for a blogathon when you hate blogging… that is all I’m saying.

I’m losing focus.
I’m ignoring the rest of it.

I’m here to put up 48 posts and raise money for a charity I care about.
If you are along for the ride… swell!

If not…

If not, it’s not like it really shocks me. I know what to expect.
Remember. I don’t fit in.
And I don’t want to.

I’m getting bored.
That is a problem…

I need to find something to amuse me.

I suck. I really do.
I should be used to it by now.

This is so much not what I was going to do.

Let me re-group and try again.

I really feel like I missed a post.

Or my numbers are off. Or something.

If so… ooops! If not, well … whatever.

I’ve been listening to Mango radio for hours. Not the Blogathon Radio but but the one that us DJ’s are doing to raise money for Autism Awareness. (Yes it is confusing as hell. But for today there are kind of 2 mango Radios… sometimes.)

So if you have a buck or two and it is burning a hole in your pocket. And you’re already pledged to sponsor my blog or you just don’t want to… go check out the Mango Radio Blogathon Blog or tune in and listen. Or Both.

I’ll be air on the air (on both feeds, I think) at 3 AM EDT. I promise to cuss and yell a lot, in between songs. I doubt anyone would want to hear that, but it’s just what I do. I’ll also be posting on that blog at the same time. In addition to posting here!

I didn’t plan to be double booked like that, but that is the way it turned out. So I’ll make the most of it.

Man this coffee is good. I just need to drink it nice and slow.

Niiiiice and sloooow.

I’ll try…

But I’ll fail.

I’m not reading to many of the blogathon blogs. I’m sorry. A little sorry anyhow.
I’m busy writing this shit, I just don’t have the time to surf random blogathoners. Besides, it reminds me of BE. But I won’t go there right now.

I am reading a few and I’m enjoying those.

So… a shout out to my friends Monty and Utopia. And I’ve started reading what Chris and Lisa are doing. And of course the Mango Radio Blogathon blog.

Not that you care.

I’ve finished my Thank You notes.

And I’m enjoying that last cup of joe…

I have more to say, but the clock keeps ticking, so this all you get…

Before my wife left for work, she asked me, “How much coffee do you think that you’ll drink today.”
“Like a lot. I need to stay up all night.”
“I was afraid you’d say that.”
“Why?”
“Well, (sigh) I just used the last of coffee to make this pot.”
…
“I’ll try to remeber to pick some up when I come home.”
“try to remember? Wait. When are you coming home?”
“I’m not sure.”
…
“Maybe like six or seven.”
…
…
…

I’ll finish off that pot with my next cup.

I do have some single serving coffee ‘pods.’

But. This could get ugly.
Well, (sigh) uglier.

The pod coffee is much better than you think it would be.

My poor kid is stuck watching TV by himself, while I do this and his mom works.
But he seems happy.

Later when he is a teenager, smoking pot and making my life miserable, remind me about this.
Thanks.

I wonder if anyone delivers coffee…
(and doughnuts!)

Wait. No fucking doughnuts.

This sucks. And I’m hungry. And rambling.

Let me finish off the coffee and we’ll take it from there.

I told myself I would write thank you’s to the people who sponsored me.
Nothing long, but it is important to let people know.
I did good. At first.

So I’m making up for it now.

Yes I’m writing little thank you emails instead of writing something clever.
OK. There was no fear of me being clever.

I’m taking a break from the thank notes to say:

Thank you to all of You anonymous sponsors!

It doesn’t matter who you are. I appreciate the support!

Now back to my thank you notes.

I don’t seem like the type to do something like the blogathon, do I?

I don’t think so either.

It’s cause things like this are always turned into an ‘event.’ I suck at events. (See last post.)
So excuse me while I ignore the rest of it and just blog.

Because I’m OK with blogging. I’m actually working very hard to make each of those posts like any post I would on this blog.
I hate filler. I don’t want that here. No one will appreciate it, but I’m not doing it for them. I’m doing ti for me.

Doing it for you? What about the charity?

I haven’t forgot the charity. But the Blogathon people would be fine if it put up a bunch “Wow. It’s time to post again!” posts.
And I’m sure later, in the middle of night. We’ll get there.

But I’m putting it off as long as possible.

I realize that these posts aren’t any good. I know that. I merely am pointing out that they are “jeckles-style” posts.

At least I have Mango to Entertain me. I don’t know what I’ll do when he goes off the air.

How bad do I suck? It only took like 4 posts for my “Monitor” to get bored with me.
Yeah. I suck.

I mentioned that last post.

I don’t. I never have. It’s cool.

I’m at peace with it. But that’s not good enough, I guess.

People try to get me to ‘join in’ or try to do things with other people.
It won’t work, I explain. It doesn’t matter. They insist.

There’s a point… I’m not sure if I can find it.

Let me try again.

I’m me.
I can be grumpy and cranky.
I don’t really know how to have fun like other people do. That’s not to say that I never have fun, but things that normal people seem to like, like bowling, don’t do it for me.

But for some reason people don’t get this. They try to tell me that it’s just a facade. I’m just acting like that, if I’d loosen up then I would have fun. They project some other personalty they think I should have on me.

And then when I act like me. They get disappointed and mad.

Which is frustrating, because I’ve always been up front about it.

So blogathon people, I’m a cranky son of a bitch. You’ve been warned.

Don’t be shocked when I blog something cranky, antisocial, hateful, spiteful, rantlike or what ever.
I don’t fit in with the other bloggers any better than I fit in with the guys at work or with my wife’s friends.

I can only be me. It’s not very good, but its all I have.

Yes, I’m writing about lunch.

Deal with it.

It’s a Gorton’s Shrimp Bowl. You remember the Friendly Gorton Fisherman. It’s not as bad as it sounded.
Of course, I chose it only because it was the only quick microwavable meal I had on hand.

It didn’t take long. I knew it wouldn’t. What am I talking about? It doesn’t really matter.

Hate my blog yet?
No.
Bored with it?
Yeah?
I get that a lot.

But I am what I am.

And I don’t fit in.

And I’m rambling. That didn’t take long either.

Well with lunch done, it’s time for more coffee.
At least coffee still loves me.

(Hey Mango… Tell us how you really feel!)

I’ve been a ‘DJ’ on Mango Radio for almost a year.

I put DJ in quotes because being a DJ on Internet Radio is hardly a real DJ.
I do a show every week. On Thursdays.

You aren’t missing anything. It’s the Worst Show on Mango Radio. It really is.

I just ramble. And swear. And play Shitty Music.

I bring it up, only because I’m going to being my Mango Radio Shtick tonight. At 3 am EST time. I think

The whole thing has been very confusing for me. I believe that I will be also be posting there at the same time. That should suck.

Why would you volunteer to do that?

Um. I didn’t.

But it will be fine. I’ll get on the air and scream and cuss and rant. And type fluff posts on 2 blogs. Nice. I’m looking forward to it. No. I’m not.

DJ’ing has always been a pain. It’s a lot of work. It’s time consuming. And it’s barely worth it for the 4 or 5 listeners I get every week.

But I keep doing it. Why? I don’t know. But I guess it is the same reason I keep blogging.

Probably it’s just that I don’t have a life.

And I still didn’t get any goddammed lunch. I only had time to make my kid a sandwich. Maybe this time.

If Could write a post with out going on and on about whatever it is that I think I have to say, this would be easier.

Luckily, this post has no point.

I think I just got a pledge for 5 pounds.
British Pounds.

Thanks.

I have no idea how much money that is. But that’s ok. I could go look it up, but like I have time for that.

Ravens Camp is going on right now. I could be there. But I’m here blogging. Dammit. I’ll just have to skip work one day next week to head over there.

I’m curios to see Steve McNair in action. We haven’t had a real quarter back in Baltimore since the Colts were here.
I’d love to be very optimistic about the Ravens this year, but first of all that’s not me and secondly, the AFC North is going to be very tough this year.

Are you listening to Mango Radio?

We (the DJs) will be on the air all day.

You can hear us here. Or not.

I want some lunch. I’ll be back. Of course.

It’s true.

I’ve been blogging for over 2 years. I’ve posted hundreds of bits of me on the Internet here and elsewhere.

But I always end up disappointed.
Stupid blog clubs irritate me.
Even my own stupid blog club.

It seems that every time I find a blog I love, the writer quits writing.

I hate that for the most part that only bloggers read blogs.
I hate that it tends to be reciprocal.
I’ll read yours if you read mine.

I hate a lot of things actually. (It’s part of my charm.)

So why do you blog if it bugs you so much?

Good Question.

I’ve been asking myself that for quite some time now.
I’ll probably ask again before this ‘thon thing is over.

That’s OK. You’ll be sick of me before this over. Trust me.
Happens to everyone.

Well almost everyone.

This is for charity. I’m sure you’ve heard.

My charity is Freedom From Hunger.
Why? Because it sounded good? Because I picked it from a hat?
No Sir.

Let’s back up…

I am very good at seeing what’s wrong with things. I’m not as good at doing something to make it better.
But I’m trying to get better. I really am.

One of the things that drives me nuts, is the way Americans are with food. Hell, we’re all fat. Just look around. Fat people every where. Burger King has sandwiches with 4 burgers on them. Any restaurant will put more on your plate than you need in a day. But we go ahead and get an appetizer and a dessert to go with it. We throw away enough food to end world hunger. I’m sure of it.

It makes me mad.

So when it came to pick a charity, I thought of Hunger.

Freedom from Hunger attracted me because of their approach.

They know that just giving money and food items will not solve the problem. Education is the answer. And that is what they do. The go to areas that are disrupted by war or chronic poverty and teach the people who live there how to sustain themselves.

This is me try to be part of the solution.

I’d be proud to have your pledge of support.
Sponsor me here.

Or Don’t. I’m cool either way. You’ve already exceeded my expections in pledges. Everything now is just icing on the cake

(OK. Perhaps that is the wrong metaphor to use here. But I can’t help myself.)

I think the natural reaction to doing some like this blogathon is to surround yourself with food.

Doughnuts, Corn Chips, Dip, HoHos, Nachos…

I’m getting Hungry.

I’m not going to do that.

I’ve been dieting and going to the gym and all that jazz. I don’t want to undo that in one day. So I’ll be good. It’s not so much willpower as those things just are not in my house. And it’s not like I have time to run to the grocery store.

I don’t really think of it as dieting. I think of it as training.

I go backpacking. A lot.

My last trip kicked my ass. I was out of breath and out of shape the entire weekend. I do not want to go through that again. My next trip is in the middle of August. I intend to be fit as I can be by then.

So…

No snacks for me. I had a rice cake for breakfast. You’re jealous aren’t you? I know you are.

Don’t worry… I’m planning on splurging on Pizza for dinner. All this blogging must burn calories… right?

I feel like I’m all over the place.

I also feel like I haven’t stopped typing on an hour.

Oh come on it couldn’t have taken that long to type those post…

True.

But I’ve been typing elsewhere.

You see I’m not just a blogger…
I’m a Shitty Blogger.
And a Mango Radio DJ.

As a result, I’ve put up a post on the Shitty Blogs Club Blog promoting the other Shitty Bloggers who are in this thing.

I’m also listening to Mango Radio’s 24 Podathon and in the Mango Radio Chatroom.

I think I need more coffee.

I’ll be on the air on Mango Radio later today.
Much Later.

And I’ll be here. All day.

I have coffee.

I love coffee. And coffee loves me. My love affair with coffee goes back to college.
Back then it was a red hot thing. I’d stay up late ’studying’ and drink coffee till I was nothing but a quivering mess.

But now I’m older. Much older. And coffee and I have been together for a long time.

We’ve settled down together.

I get up and drink several cups. Coffee keeps me warm inside. Coffee helps me deal with people without going in to a fit of rage.

And Coffee and I are going to do this blogathon thing.

In 30 minutes or so I’ll let you about some ‘blogathon events’ you should be aware of.

Here we are.

This is the big Blogathon.

48 posts posts for your amusement. All to show support for a good charity.

Sit back relax. We have all day and all night together.

I hope you enjoy it.

If 48 doses of Jeckles isn’t enough for you, I’ll be making some guest appearances here or there. I’ll tell you about those later.

I suspect I’ll get some new visitors through here today.
Poor guys, they won’t know what hit them.

This is an acquired taste.

So excuse me, I’m going to go get some coffee, find some music to listen to, and attempt to make the most of this.

I’ll be brief.

I’ll have all day tomorrow to say whatever it is I’m trying to say.

I reached my goal.
$500 Pledged.
Thanks.

But you can still sponsor me. (You can sponsor me up until the end of teh blogathon.)

Tomorrow, I’ll be here at my desk for 24 hours bringing you 48 posts. (Plus some other stuff… but I’ll tell you about that tomorrow.)

So stop by tommorrow and check back frequently. I’ll be posting every 30 minutes or so starting at 9:00 AM. I can’t promise it will be the most interesting blogging I’ve ever done, but I’ll do my best.

I’m going to get some sleep now. (It just seems liek I should be well rested for this.)

See ya tomorrow.

It is probably wrong of me to blog during work.

Luckily, I don’t care.

It’s almost time for the blogathon. You’ll be so relieved to have this whining for money come to an end.

But the thing is… I haven’t met my goal.
I really want to raise $500.

I know. You’re broke. You’ve already given to other bloggers. You hate me.

But think about it.

I’m an asshole. Everyone knows that. (I get reminded on a daily basis.)
But I’m doing this good thing.

You would expect all those nice people to do good things like this. Admit it, you were surprised that I signed up for this.

This is rare opportunity for you. To help me do something good and worthwhile. And if that isn’t enough, every dollar pledged not only goes to fight Hunger, it chips away at my cynicism (at least temporarily.)

Help me exceed my goal. Help to force me to act for the powers of good. Help chip away at my cynicism.

Pledge a few bucks. $5 would be awesome! You can afford five dollars. Just use the money you were gong to use to cheat your diet. You didn’t really need that ice cream cone anyway.

Do it!
Dammit!

You know you want to be one of the ones that put me over the top.

Now let me get back to work…

I left my iPod at work when I left today, not a big deal it will be there when I get there tomorrow. But it did mean that i had to go to the gym with out it. That must never happen again. I don’t like treadmill as it is, but running with no music, with nothing better to do than read the close captioning on the TV. It sucked.

Last week I did manage to run on the tread mill every day but Friday… and I was sick on Friday, so I have a good excuse. Unfortunately all the running made me hungry as hell. I ate everything in sight. I knew I wasn’t supposed to.

I’d have these conversations with myself. Something like this:

Look, a cookie!
You can’t have a cookie.
But I’m hungry.
You’ll get fat… ter
But I ran.
It doesn’t matter.
OK. You win.
Then why are you eating that cookie?
I am?
Nevermind… tubby.

But somehow I didn’t gain any weight. Of course I didn’t lose any either. Maybe this week will be better.

My blog was down.

I now believe it is back up.
If you can read this… just assume that it is back up.

I’m not in the mood for this.

Next weekend is the blogathon. It’s not too late to sponsor me.

It seems like a lot of these bloggers have big strategies for what they are gong to do to stay awake and what kind of shit they are going to post.
I have none of that.

If there is something you think I should be writing about during the blogathon, let me know… 48 post is a lot.

That’s all. I’m still having a bad day. I’m going to crawl back in my hole now.

Adelphia Customer Service, how may I help you?
My Internet is down. This like the 5th time this happened in the last 24 hours.
Can you tell me how many solid green lights you have on your cable modem?
One. The Power Light. And the Receive light is blinking.
Can I Have the MAC ID off your Cable Modem. It is located…
I know where it is located. 0000CFD123.
Let me take a look at your server. Just one moment.
…
Ok. It looks like you modem is not connecting.
Really? Wow? Do you think that is why I am getting no Internet?
It is showing your server as 58% percent down, so…
Oh. So the problem is on you end.
No. It has to be 75% down to be an outage.
OK. So it’s on my end?
Possibly.
What could the problem be?
It could be your lines or the cable modem.
Oh.
I’m going to send out a technician.
Great.
I can have one out here for you on the 27th.
That’s almost a week from now.
It will probably come up over night anyway.
What?
Your modem will probably re-establish a connection overnight.
Then why are you sending a tech?
Because there is no outage.
Oh. Because the server is only 58 percent down?
Let me check. Actually it is only 41 percent down now.
So it is not an outage.
Right.
But 41% of the customers cannot connect right not.
41% are not connected.
But the problem is on my end?
Yes.
Great. Any idea when it will come back up?
It’s not an outage.
Of course not.
Would you like me to send out a technician?
For Thursday?
Yes
No.
No?
No. How about I all you back if it is still down tomorrow. Then you can send them.
OK? You don’t want me to send a tech?
No. It’s sound like the issue is on your end. I’m sure it will be up by morning.
It’s not on our end, it has to be 75% down to be an outage.
Right. I’ll call back if I change my mind.
OK. Are you sure.
Yes.
Have a great night and thank you for calling Adelpia.
Uh huh.

I will not be reduced to being grumpy.
I will not.

But they are testing me. They really are.

So, I will focus on some of the positives.

I just got Batman and Robin, the Boy Wonder yesterday. I had to order it off eBay. It was worth the wait.

I also managed to drag myself to the gym yesterday.
Going to the gym is a chore. You know the drill. You’re too tired. Too busy. Whatever. So you don’t go. Add to that the fact that my knee has been a mess. So the few times I have managed to go, it swells up and I can’t go back.

But I went. I got on the treadmill and ran. For 30 minutes. Which got me about 3 miles. and my knee… is OK. now all I have to do is go back tonight.

I am working on making a Web App for a Realty Team. The project is way over my head. I’m a network engineer not a developer, but I can’t turn down a challenge.

And YOU GUYS… yes YOU GUYS have blown my mind. When I signed up for blogathon and I was afraid I wouldn’t get 20 dollars in pledges. But no, YOU GUYS rocked my world and and have pledged nearly $300. I hope you realize what a reflection that is on YOU GUYS. There are blogs in this blogathon with more reader that have less pledges. That is because YOU GUYS rock! I cannot thank you enough.

If you want to blow my mind, Sponsor Me!

See. Things are pretty good. I just need to tune out these idiots.

Here I am at work again.
But since I am feeling uninspired, I am here.

Suddenly my ‘blog to do list’ has gotten much longer.
I want to finish the most recent back packing story. And I need to add pictures to the other parts.
I have more to say about Syd Barrett.
And, of course, I have blogathon looming.

About Blogathon.
To those of you who have contributed, you rock. You are the best! I am amazed to have raised as much as I have.
At the same time, it is not enough.

A few points on this.

I am very competitive. I always have been. And WebKittyn and Monty have more money pledged than I do. It’s killing me. I want to win! Of course it is not a competition, but still I want to be able to do well. So help me out. I want to be able to ‘hang’ with the other bloggers.

Don’t kid yourself and say, “I’m sure lots of people are blogging for Freedom from Hunger, they’ll get lots of support from this blogathon.” It’s not true. There are only 2. To support this charity, sponsor me! Do it now!

Lastly, I know you want to help fight world hunger. I know you do. But it’s all so overwhelming. Everywhere you turn, bloggers are asking for money. Don’t be overwhelmed. All I want from YOU is five bucks. If each person that came here, contributed five dollars, we’d have no trouble breaking $1000. Think about it. Give me a hand.

But what’s in it for you? Besides the tax write off and that warm feeling you get inside for doing a good thing? You get to ‘watch’ me blog for 24 hours straight. For your reading amusement, I will write one post every 30 minutes for 24 hours. I will get jacked on coffee and go nuts. That’s got to be worth five bucks…

Sponsor me. It’s good for you.

Really I’m trying to do you a favor. I know we all trying to lose weight. I bet you were thinking of spending money on to eat. Something you did not need. Like a doughnut. (mmmmm doughnuts) Let me help you. Give me the money. We’ll let that money to go towards helping people who are not getting enough food. We’ll help them learn to be able to support themselves. You’ll thank me. Really you will.

And I will thank you.

I’m still reeling about Syd.
It’s not like the news was shocking or upsetting exactly. But the end to this tragic story has kept my mind in motion. I may have more to say about Syd, but it hasn’t quite solidified in my mind. Also, I expect that this week’s Radio Show will have a lot of Syd in it.

Hey!

The Blogathon is coming. And I’m in it. Several of you have sponsored me. You guys rock. But I want more. Sponsor me.

NO. I mean it. Sponsor me. I did some homework and picked a good charity. I’ll stay up 24 hours and post for your amusement. (Well at least for my amusement.) What more do I need to do? What can I offer you to entice you to Sponsor Me? I don’t know what to offer you. But who knows, maybe I’ll think of something.

I’d like to break $500! It’s a goal. If we make that goal… we’ll do something. I just don’t know what yet. I can tell you this. It will make you feel good if you do it. Hell it will make me smile. Sponsor me!
And if you hate my charity or me or whatever…. Sponsor one of my friends. aka_Monty, Webkittyn, Rose, Utopia or Mango Radio.

It’s for a good cause and you get to make me stop being so grumpy for a minute. DO IT NOW.

I mentioned earlier (way earlier) that I had been assigned a huge Identity Integration project. Well funding was slow, and the project has slipped. But we are underway now. It is kind of exciting.

At the same time, I have been drafted to replace the network infrastructure at one of our sites. We are combining the project into a training excercise. So our WAN Admin is having me and another configure the Switch, VLANs and whatnot from the ground up. Way cool.

Is it ironic that I like work betterer, when I am busy. Especially busy with interesting things.

Isreal attacked Lebanon. I’m so glad that the US was able to bring stability to that region.

The AL won the All Star game. Whoop D Doo. I am so over baseball. Only a few short weeks till training camp. Go football!

That is it for today. Sponsor me!

You have heard by now, no doubt, that Roger ‘Syd’ Barrett has died. To the left is a picture of the man who died a few days ago.

A harmless old man, who liked to garden, collect coins and occasionally take a ride on his bicycle. It is rumored that he has no recollection of being in a rock and roll band. Syd Barrett wrote all of the songs for Pink Floyd’s first album, but his erratic behavior drove his band mates to marginalize him from the band to such a degree that he is only Credited with one track on their second album. Nothing more than a footnote on the Success of Pink Floyd. Why then all the fuss?

Soon we will be overrun with people who loved Syd, who knew him back then, who have always been fans. I have been a fan since I learned of him, back in 1990. I heard the album Piper at the Gates of Dawn and was blown away.

The Fuss? It’s about the young man with the piercing stare, Syd Barrett. An Art Major. He was going to be a painter. Until his pal Roger Waters convinced him to join his Rock and Roll band, The Tea Set. Syd thrived, he recruited his friend Rick Wright to play keyboards and they became The Pink Floyd Sound.

Syd’s style of Guitar playing was unique. Short crisp chords with mixed with short melodic riffs. And he sang with a British accent unlike the Beatles or the Stones. But the thing that has always captivated me is his lyrics.

Lime and Limpid Green, the sounds around the icy waters underground

It’s awfully considerate of you to think of me here
And I’m much obliged to you for making it clear
That I’m not here.

I tattooed my brain all the way…
Won’t you miss me?
Wouldn’t you miss me at all

when I woke one morning
and remembered this song
O-oh-oh, kinda catchy, I hoped
that she would talk to me now
and even allow me to hold her hand
and forget that old band.

Trip to heave and ho, up down, to and fro’
you have no word
trip, trip to a dream dragon
hide your wings in a ghost tower
sails crackiling at ev’ry plate we break
cracked by scattered needles

But the pressure got to Syd. By the Time their first album was released he was frustrated with the demands of being a star. Promoters expect The Pink Floyd (as they were known by this time) to play their songs more or less how they sounded on the records. Syd loved to tweak or even completely re-write his songs. The Pink Floyd got their Big Break in 68 or 69 when they were to open for Jimi Hendrix and The Monkees on a US tour. Yes dear readers, Jimi Hendrix once opened for the Monkees.

They were flown to the US and played a show or two. Syd was dark and brooding. He would wander around the stage leaving Roger Waters and Rick Wright to pick up the vocals. They were booked to play American Bandstand. Bandstand was a live show and the ‘live’ bands always lip synched. Syd was outraged. He didn’t want to pretend to sing the song he recorded over a year earlier. The band went on… but Syd just stood there. He didn’t touch his guitar. He didn’t move his lips. The engagement was a disaster. They were pulled from the tour and sent home. (If I remember correctly, they did not tour the US again until after Darkside.)

Things weren’t going well for Syd. His fragile state of mind was breaking down. The drugs did not help. He fell in with usual users and sycophants that will surround those who find fame too fast. It is rumored that in the house were he lived, that his so called friends reveled in keeping him tripping. All of the food and drink was spiked with LSD. Syd kept ingesting it with out even realizing it. He may have been tripping for many days straight. Finally be broke down. Since he was ruining the party they just locked him in a closet.

But as Dave Gilmour, his grade school friend and replacement in the band, said, “In my opinion, his breakdown would have happened anyway. It was a deep-rooted thing. But I’ll say the psychedelic experience might well have acted as a catalyst. Still, I just don’t think he could deal with the vision of success and all the things that went with it.”

Syd was pushed out of the band he created and defined. His mental state weakened. In the mean time, Pink Floyd Prospered. Syd did mange to record 2 albums as well as put together a handful of live appearances. The songs are some of his best. Many of them written in 67 and 68. By 1972, he was done. And Pink Floyd was preparing to release The Dark Side of the Moon.

The band, especially Roger Waters, seemed to affected by some sort of remorse over Syd’s disintegration. They returned to the studio to follow up on the success of Dark Side, with an album that was a tribute to Syd, Wish You Were Here. Syd who had been in reclusion for 3 years or so, showed up at Abby Road and listened in to recording of Shine on You Crazy Diamond. At first, no one recognized him. He gained weight and he shaved his head and eyebrows. When Roger realized who it was, he was reduced to tears.

I do not mourn the passing of Roger Barrett. I believe that the soul that burned so brightly within passed on years ago.

Suddenly the rush of the mighty great thunder,
Confronted Swan Lee as his song he sang,
In the dawn, with his squaw, he was battling homewards
It was all written down by Long Silas Lang.

The land in silence stands…
The land in silence stands…
The land in silence stands.

Shine on Syd!

***I’ve written from my recollections of items I’ve read and heard over the last 15 or so years. The details may contain some inaccuracies. But the Respect I hold for Syd Barrett is unwavering.***

Two Years Ago I started the Jeckles Geek Blog on Blogspot. Since then I’ve moved to Blogcafe and then here to Blogsome.

I’ve managed to retain every post I ever put up.

I’ve spent a lot of time the last few months migrating the old posts over. I wanted to have them all here by today. They are not. But many of them are. I’ll keep working on migrating them.

I’ve written over 300 posts.
Some of them have been interesting.
A few of them have been good.
Most of them have just been another blog post.

When I started writing this, I thought I would use the blog medium to put my opinions about Sports, Technology, and Politics out there for the world to see.

But in time, I found that my opinions and thoughts on those issues were not as unique as I had perceived them to be. To my surprise, I found that my thoughts and feeling on people and the way they interact were on the other hand more unique.

When I started doing this, I had never written anything that I wasn’t obligated to write. Writing was not something I did.

Now I am beginning to consider myself a writer.

But for the most part, things are remarkably the same. The world is like that. It stays mostly the same. Most change is just in our perception.

I still don’t know why I am doing this.
But I’d like to thank you for reading. And to the one or two of you who have read this thing from the beginning… thanks (but I think you may want to check to see if your meds are adjusted properly.)

I was going to try to do something interesting for this milestone, but I think we will save that for the blogathon.

Of course, it’s ok to sponsor me if you want. I don’t mind.
As a matter of fact, I have a confession.
You guys make my day when you sponsor me. I didn’t know I had it in me.
(Did you see this coming?)
So go ahead punk, make my day! Sponsor me!

I am amazed.
You guys have chipped away some of my cynicism. Hard to believe, but it’s true.
You have contributed far more than I had dared to hope.
Thank You.

But I’m not done. I want more. Sponsor me! Please. And Thank you.
(If you want more information on why I chose this charity… I wrote about it earlier.)

I’m going to finish up the trail story… and add pictures. I promise.

But not right now. I have a party to prepare for. I’ll try to save some cake and ice cream for you.

Have you ever been truly hungry?

I don’t mean feeling like a creme filled doughnut would hit the spot. I mean true hunger. Have you ever gone days with out a meal? Have you ever been so poor, that you could not afford the basic food items needed for survival.

I have. For a brief period in my life, I went with out food because I simply did not have the money. I was never in any danger. I had my family to fall back on.

This year, according to the Food and Agriculture Organization (FAO) of the United Nations, 11 million children around the world will not be that lucky. They have no one to fall back on. They live in extreme poverty. They live in areas ravaged by civil war. They will die from diarrhea, acute respiratory illness, malaria and measles because their bodies are too weak to survive these common illnesses. They are not victims of famine, they are victims of poverty and war. Food exists, but they cannot afford or get access to enough of it.

The solution to this problem is not simple. Freedom from Hunger believes that the solution lies in providing these communities with the resources to care for themselves. Freedom from Hunger is not about a handout. It is about change.

With training and assistance from Freedom from Hunger, local organizations can implement high-quality programs and become permanent resources to the poorest citizens of their countries.¹

So what did you have for dinner last night?

In this year’s blogathon I am sponsoring Freedom from Hunger.

You can help by sponsoring me. All I’m asking for is a few bucks. (Maybe what you planning on spending on dessert.) If you cannot help me monetarily, I understand. But do me a favor, send some friends this way and lets see if we can raise some money for a very good cause.

Please Sponsor Me to help fight Hunger.
***If you do sponsor me… let me know. I am hearing reports of the Blogathon site not updating. Thanks***

I signed up for this blogathon.

I know. No one is more shocked than me.

I guess there are a couple of factors at work here.

I tend to drone on and on about making a difference in a meaningful way. I don’t have Billions of dollars to invest in charity like the esteemed Mr Gates. Hell, I don’t have 10s of dollars to invest in it. But I have time. Time to pitch in. Time to go out and do things. And certainly time to sit around in front of my computer. I pretty much do that anyway. So why not sign up?

I like a challenge. Last year, I watched as a bunch of these blogathoners acted as though this was wild challenge. I can do that, I told myself. So it is time to put my money where my mouth is… sort of.

And I do care.

I am blogging for (admit it, that just sounds silly) for Freedom From Hunger.

Some of the bloggers are going to harass you for money. They will beg. They will threaten.
I will not do that.

If you want to let those kids starve…

Feel free.

Or you could make a donation.

I’m not expecting much. I know you have expenses. I know you may be sponsoring another blog.
Give 5 bucks. Give One. Or at least… spread the word.

Go ahead. Sponsor me. You know you want to.

Sometimes my job is just boring.
Now would be a prime example.

Avert your eyes… geek talk follows.

One of the software packages my users use has a proprietary database that stores all sorts of multimedia files. It doesn’t take much to make it get errors. It needs to have maintenance done a regular basis. (I’d explain database maintenance, but none of you care. None of you.)

Last week some idiot, (that bastard that screamed at me the other week, actually,) ran a server utility on the sever while the users were using this package. Ever since their software hasn’t run correctly. I told them to run maintenance.

They say they did but the problem persists.

So here I am running maintenance, which amounts to clicking next and waiting.

And waiting.
And waiting.

One of the tables seems to be FUBAR. Because the database is proprietary, there is nothing I can do but wait to see if the maintenance utility can fix it. If it can’t… well lets not think about that yet.

The point is, I have nothing to do but sit here. And wait. At least I have my iPod to amuse me.

I am bored. And hungry too.
I think I have many days of hungry in my future.
Damn. Now I’m think about food. This isn’t working well at all.

Bored and hungry. This no way to spend the day.

It is time for me to lose some weight and get back in shape.

I’m sick of feeling like shit all the time.

The last few months, I’ve been tired, moody and just plain cranky. During that same time frame I’ve gained about 15 pounds. I have no doubt that two are related.

Couple that with how thoroughly my ass was kicked by the trail the other weekend, and I really have no choice.

I’ve read over the past few years volumes of information on weight-loss and nutrition, but I’ve been unsatisfied with the results I’ve had with their recommendations. I still with what has worked in the past. For the next few days, I will embark on a very low-calorie diet. Once I can’t stand it anymore and my appetite and stomach have had things put in perspective, I will increase my calorie intake to a reasonable, but still low level. Add exercise and there you have it. Sounds easy easy enough. I just have to confront my life-long love affair with food, along with my aversion to the gym.

The gym really does creep me out. I don’t know which is worse the fat middle aged women in skimpy work out outfits or the meat heads strutting around flexing and primping. I hate people and there are too many of them at the gym. If that wasn’t bad enough (and trust me it is,) my knees and ankles are screwed up from hiking. While they are healing, I won’t be able to run on the treadmill, which is my exercise of choice. I’ll be reduced to power walking with the soccer moms. The inhumanity of it all.

But I’ll try real hard not to think about all that. I need to focus on the goal, which is to lose about 25 pounds. I have to. I can’t go around feeling like shit all the time. And I know, from experience, that this will help.

I woke up, crawled out of my sleeping bag and climbed down from my bunk. It had stopped raining, but we opted to cook breakfast inside. It was too wet to eat outside. After breakfast and coffee, we packed up and got ready to hit the trail. Uber-Bot and WAN-Man were ready to go, but I still needed water. I told them to go ahead, I’d catch up. It only took me a minute or two to fill up my Nalgene bottles.

There are two trails leaving the 501 Shelter. The one we came in on, which is blazed blue. Or a red blazed one that comes out a little further to the north. I didn’t know which one they had taken, but I decided that if they took the Red Blaze I’d never catch up if I took the Blue Blaze, and if they took the Blue Blaze I might be able to cut them off at the pass using the Red Blaze.

I headed off following the Red Blazes, until that trail dead ended on another trail. I looked both ways, but I didn’t see any blazes. I was unsure of which way to go. I backtracked, but the red blazes had definitely led to this spot. It didn’t look like the AT, it was overgrown and unblazed. Of course, the trail the day before had been rather overgrown also. If it was the AT, I’d need to turn left. So I made a left and started walking. I still didn’t see any blazes. After a while, the trail dead ended at another intersection.

This must be the AT, I thought. I turned left and started walking. But there were no blazes, no signs, no hints of any sort. So I turned around and headed the other direction in search of a clue. But there was nothing, do I turned around again and started walking. I walked until I was about ready to start backtracking again, but in the distance I saw a white sign. I walked to it and looked at it. It had symbols indicating Horses and Bikes and at the very bottom in small print, it said ATC. If this wasn’t the trail it must surely lead to it. I walked on until once again the trail dead ended on to another trail. This time when I peered down the trail I saw a familiar white blaze on a tree.

After wandering around for a half hour or so, I had finally found the trail. I started walking and tried to set an aggressive pace. I was way behind the other two now. The pace did not last long however, as the trail was replaced with boulders. I had to step from one to the next as I attempted to follow the blazes. It didn’t take long before I was thoroughly defeated.

The Appalachian Trail runs from Maine to Georgia. It was formed, in part, to connect existing trails that ran through the great Mountain Ranges of Tennessee, Virginia and New England. There are interesting mountains in Pennsylvania, but there are located to the North and West of the AT. The goal of the Trail in Pennsylvania is to go East. While we think of the East Coast in terms of North and South, you have to remember that Boston is hundreds of miles east of Washington, DC. So the Trail goes East over the rocky ridges of Pennsylvania.

As a result, the Trail through Pennsylvania is somewhat uninspiring. It runs over low rocky ridges, across farmland, and through a number of towns. There are very few spectacular views. The most remarkable thing about the Trail in Pennsylvania is, as a matter of fact, all of the rocks. Large Boulders you have climb over. Fields of boulders that you have to traverse, hopping from one rock to the next. Trail that has smaller rocks sticking up all over the place, just enough to make you have to watch your step to avoid rolling your ankle. Opinions about Pennsylvania may vary, but is generally agreed that Pennsylvania has more than its share of rocks.

As I walked over the rocks, I found myself going slower and slower. I kept thinking, around this next bend, I will find real trail again. But I didn’t, I found more rocks. I just stood there and stared. I did my my best to will teh rocks away, but it wasn’t enough. So pushed on to the next bend, once again hoping for an end to the rocks. And so it went for nearly a mile. To say I was moving slowly, would have been an understatement. I hadn’t walked more than two miles and I had already had enough. And then it started raining.

I kept walking. Because that is what you do. You either sit down on the trail in exasperation or you keep walking. And if you choose the latter, sooner or later you will still have to get up and walk anyway. The rain wasn’t more than a drizzle, and it let up after a bit.

Eventually I caught up with my friends. They were waiting for me at a campsite. I don’t know exactly how long they waited, but it was a long time. I cooked some ramen noodles for a lunch, and this seemed to give me a little energy. We set off again, and I did my best to keep up with them.

I did pretty good for several miles. But I ran out of steam. My friends walked out of site as I trudged along. I knew the shelter couldn’t be too far, but I was so beat, I couldn’t help but walk slow. I finally arrived at the shelter. The Uber-bot and I, opted to tent. The WAN-Man stayed in the shelter with two older section hikers.

I set up my tent. And cooked my dinner. I was exhausted. I went in to my tent, read for a few minutes, then went to sleep. I woke up to the sound of driving rain. I did a quick inspection of my tent and my gear, but everything seemed to be keeping dry. I closed my eyes and was out like a light.

Continued.

I’m not very good at fishing.

I’ve read several books on it. I’ve purchased the right equipment. None of that seems to matter. I can’t catch a fish to save my soul.

I haven’t caught a fish in years. Yet.. I keep doing it.

This evening I went fishing with my dad and my grandmother. My dad cast out his line and caught a huge bass. A little while later, my grandma pulled in a respectably sized bass. I came home empty handed.

I guess I just like being out there by the water. Or in this case on a boat. I stand there and cast. Wait a bit and reel it back in. I feel the bait run across the weeds and the bottom. I focus my attention on the act of fishing. It requires just enough concentration to stop my mind from wandering. I just stand (or sit) and fish.

Empty handed or no, I can think of worse ways to spend an evening.

How long has it been since I posted an introspective post about the nature of blogging? Too long, I think.

The other day, some one said to me, “I’m glad you blog.”

What an odd compliment. I knew what she meant and I appreciated it but still that isn’t the kind of compliment you hear every day.

I’m glad you blog. Not I’m glad you write. Not I’m glad I know you.

This distinction is important.
Because blogging is not either of those things.

Blogging is not writing. Go read some of the Shitty Blogs and you’ll see what I mean. Not that writing doesn’t occasionally appear on a blog. But blogging is not the same as writing. Stephen King writes. Frank McCourt writes. They don’t blog. And really it’s a good thing.

Can you picture SK’s blog?

4/23
I can’t think of anything scary. I’m so full of doubt and angst. I’m still mad a the MoFo how ran my ass over.
4/26
I had really good idea for a book. What if cell phones made every crazy. This is going to be great.
4/27
Thanks for all of your comments. I see your point. Forget the cell phone book, I’ll think of something else.

Or McCourt’s?

10/22
These kids are driving me nuts. This teaching is harder than I thought.
10/30
Jay-sus Christ! These kids are a handful… but I think i have an idea.
11/02
To hell with teaching, I give up. I’m not quitting my job, but I am not going to try to teach these kids how to diagram sentences. I’ll just keeping telling them stories about how it was in Ireland when I was a kid. What does that have to do with teaching? I have no idea, but it shuts them up.

I guess I’m just being silly, but there is a point in here somewhere. Blogging is not writing. And reading a blog doesn’t equate to knowing someone. Blogs are so filtered. Sure we may share very personal details, but we also somethings back. Can you really know me by reading my blog? I don’t think so. You will know things about me, but there is much you will probably never know.

Which brings us back to why. Why do it? Why do I do it? Am I trying to write a great novel? Umm. No. Am I trying to talk to you? No. Pay attention, because this part is important. I am thrilled that people read this shit. Hell I wish even more did. But I am not writing this for you readers. I am writing it because I have things on my mind. And I want to get it out.

There have been moments, in the history of this blog, that I have become distracted by the fact that so and so or thus and such were reading it. The blog suffered for it. And really isn’t it bad enough without any help? I began to think that so and so would like to hear about this, and that might offend thus and such. And I was no longer doing what I had set out to do.

So I do my best to forget about you while I’m writing this tripe. I just take the shit in my head and put out here. If you like it… wonderful. And if not… then that isn’t really the end of the world either, is it?

In some ways, I’m embarrassed to be a blogger. There are so many negative connotations. But I am what I am. And I don’t see me stopping. Even if all of you went away, I’d still have thoughts in my head, that need to come out. And I’d still blog about them.

A four day weekend. That means that we went to the Lake.
When you have a house on the lake available to you… you take advantage of it.

Today has kind of sucked.
But nothing terrible, little annoyances.
Mostly people disappointed me. Several times. Several people.
I suppose my standards might be too high.

For the record, misguided readers (you must be misguided if you keep reading this,) I’m not as miserable as you think I am.

I guess I am just more likely write about things that bother me. Writing about ‘the nice dinner I had with my wife the other night’ is boring. It just is.

So just trust me. I have fun. I know happiness. I really do. I just don’t feel compelled to write about most of it.
It’s not a matter of choice. Did you know that? I don’t choose to write about this or that. I am compelled to.

Sometimes I am compelled to write about things that do not belong here. So I put them elsewhere. To that end, I just started a private blog. How dumb is that? What is the point of a blog that no one else can read? A notebook would perhaps be more appropriate, but I am always near the Internet it seems, so the Private Blog is more accessible that the notebook. Don’t worry, there is nothing good in there.

I tried to run this morning, but I had to settle for walking. I wanted to go 3 miles, I knew I couldn’t run that far without my knee screaming at me. I planned to run the first mile and walk from there. I made it (charitably) a quarter mile before the pain put me back to a walk. I did walk the 3 miles and at a good pace, but I was pretty upset that I couldn’t manage to run further. I hate not being able to do something. We’ll see how far I make it tomorrow.

The rest of my day was like that. Small aggravations and disappointments.

Tomorrow will be better. That is a choice.