My head hurts. I’m tired. I’m grumpy.

And no one cares.

I think it the last part that bothers me the most.

How has it been nearly two decades since high school and I find myself facing the same problems. I don’t fit in.

I don’t make friends well. I’m no good at it.

I could make some dramatic statement about how hard it is for me trust people, because of the way my life has gone. But that doesn’t ring true. I couldn’t make friends in high school either. Or before them.

I’m just not wired correctly.

I guess most of teh time I’m at peace with it. I just sit around and do my thing. But some days I look around and se people hanging out outside of work. Doing shit together and I feel left out.

Maybe this head ache has impaired my ability to function like a rational human being.

I just want to yell at people. Be a real dick. Somehow that seems like it would make things better. It probably wouldn’t and I doubt it would make me feel better. But if I could make a few people as miserable as I am, that would be a small consolation.

I know.

Small.
Petty.

But it sounds good. It really does.

I won’t do it. I’ll just stalk around and grumble to myself.

Sounds like fun, doesn’t it?

My job is making me nuts. I’ve been there for two years. I had expected that I would move up in the pecking order during that time.

It’s not going to happen. Too much bureaucracy. To move up, a new job needs to be created or someone need to leave. I don’t see either of those things happening.

Which means the ball is in my court.

Excuse my while I walk around and grumble some more.