I was so plucked that I didn’t even get the “Sponsor this Blog’ button up last time.

God, I suck.

And If I don’t figure out how to get some lunch soon, I’m screwed. I’m not sure when it happened, but at some point I started getting very regimented on when I eat. Which is good, I suppose… but when I get off schedule, it fucks wit me a lot. You know… like right now.

Did I mention I hate blogging.

I’m not sure why I don’t just write. For myself. On my computer and leave it there. It would eliminate a lot of my frustration. It’s my own… insecurity… need for affirmation… something that makes me blog. I could write and save it to the hard drive. But I would never know if you got it. I wouldn’t know if I had got my point across.

But by the same token, I have always felt like there is some huge blogging community out there. And I am some where outside of it.

I know. I know.

It’s my own fault. I don’t play the GAME. Hell, I don’t even understand the game, nor do I want to. Most of the time this shit doesn’t bother me at all. I just do my thing. I have my few, but extremely loyal groupies readers. But sometimes, like when those stupid awards come out or during this blogathon, it begins to get to me.

I read other blogs and it sounds like they are all blogging this thing together. I feel like I’m sitting here at my computer, alone, blogging. Do the rest of them have a better imagination than I do? Are they IMing back and forth between posts. Calling each other on the phone?

I don’t know. This is probably my tendency to be extremely literal giving me a hard time again.

Yes. It is hard to be me. No. I do not expect you to feel the slightest bit sorry from me. Yes. I do expect some of you to mock me derisively.

Did you ever feel like you were trying to make point, but had no idea what the hell it was? No? Must just be me and my aneurysm .

Thank you. You’re too kind. I’ll be here all fucking day, don’t forget to tip.