I hate my job. I know… who doesn’t? But here’s the rub, I like what I do. I like my job description, I like the projects I’ve been assigned. I even like many of my co-workers.

But my peers, the other Network Engineers, they are ruining it for me. Of course, I can’t go around blaming other people for my problems. (I mean, obviously, I could… but then I would be like all those other assholes.)

It’s my own fault. I found an opportunity to design a very large project for the department. No one cares about the details, but our core servers are all on an outmoded platform. There had been discussion of bringing in consultants to migrate us to a newer platform, but the cost was prohibitive.

I looked at the situation and decided that it was possible for us to do this migration in house. I started scoping and planning the migration. I presented my plan to my boss and got her approval. So I presented this plan to my peers.

I had this stupid idea. This belief that they would somehow step up and take ownership of this project. They always complain that management doesn’t trust them with large projects. They always complain about be saddled with of date servers. This was gonna be a chance for them to solve both of these problems. As a team we could totally kick this project’s ass.

What was I thinking? Needless to say, that’s not how it went at all. Instead of a team effort, what I got was an assload of petty bullshit, resentment from my so-called team mates, and a bunch of assholes who were more interested in throwing a roadblocks, than finding solutions.

I should have seen this coming. I should have known better. And maybe if I had seen it coming, it wouldn’t have weighed so heavily on me.

I’ve been working on this for a year. And as of today I now have 2 sites (of 42) running on the new system and the infrastructure in place allow for the rest of the migration. This should be a proud moment. This is a real major accomplishment.

Instead, I feel tired, useless and generally miserable. The whole thing did not go as smooth as I would have liked, of course that is no surprise. I would have liked to have had a a team of eight engineers working on this. Instead, I carried the load with only grudging support from my “team.”